“Is it dangerous where you are going?” I lay beside of her in her bed. We just finished a peaceful bedtime story. Her eyes get big. She loves adventure. What do I say? The answer is yes. Usually when people ask me that question I say “Dangerous is relative and we are always careful” But I look at her and remember the two aid workers who were killed not long ago in Congo. I know the elections are this month and that we have cancelled the trip once. I look at her and my eyes get teary. Man, I love these kids.
“Not SO very much!” and I tickle her.
Sometimes I feel like a girl with a dream. Sometimes I feel like a women with a burden. Much of the time I feel as though all that is around me, surrounding me, inside of me is too much to carry, and I crave to be held. To be normal. But I know that is not what I was created for. I was not created to be normal. A normal life isn’t always possible. But it doesn’t mean it can’t be beautiful. More than beautiful.
I see in these children the power of the redemptive love of Jesus. I see in them hope for this world. It is so much more than just saving a child from the bush or helping them to believe in themselves again. It is even more than changing the course of a nation by teaching them about peace, healing, and honor at young ages. It is learning from them. Knowing that if a child who has been raped by soldiers at the age of five can be a leader of her community…… if a boy of 10 who was abducted and forced to kill in unspeakable ways can later become a man who desires nothing more than to speak about peace and God’s love – then THERE IS HOPE. There is hope for all of us who have been wounded to be transformed into something beautiful.
As I type this, I am entering into a journey. (Rwanda, Congo, Sudan, Uganda) Typing out my heart over large bodies of water is becoming a favorite. On my way into something great and mighty. Into His heart. I am going into this trip asking not only to be used, but to be changed. I am not perfect. I am filled with selfish mistakes. I am a failure. I am a warrior. I am small. I am thoughtful. I am thougthless. I am intensely selfish. I am selfless. I am overwhelmed with joy and goodness – not of my own accord. I am no one. I am everyone. I am you. And you are me. And we are WE. And when we walk in the ‘we’ – the world gets changed.
We can do more together.
Me. You. Them. Him. Are you ready?